I'll never call it love - part 6 (Final)

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He was in all tears; he came to me and said he was suspended from college. I still had a soft corner for him. After all he is the first guy I ever spoke with. He had drunk a little too much, went to class in the same position and had hit a faculty who asked him why he was so. He was taken to the HOD and was suspended till his parents came and met her. 

I asked him why he was telling me that, and he asked me sorry and said me a lot more. He said me the episodes he had been to the prostitute, the worst things he had done, all the lies he had said me till date. He also said that those people who called him as friend left him and he was all alone. He said that there was no one for him and his studies and life was totally ruined and he had no one to speak to or nowhere to go. I felt pity for him. A very wrong move from my side.  

I was there to console him and was at his side at that tough phase of his life. After 3 weeks everything was solved and he was back to college. He had said me how many girls he had been with in that in between time and the count was close to 6. And I also noticed that he never changed from a text from some unknown girl in his mobile. I called to that number and realized that it was a wrong number call and he had started the conversation and extended it to the point that that poor girl had proposed him and had begged him to come meet her. She got her worst nightmare that day and so did he. He said she was the one who came behind him. Knowing very well about him, I believed neither but I was completely pissed off.

I was not ready to break my promise; I shout black mail and give ultimatums that I'll break up with him, I can’t be even a second with him but I could never do it. It was so not me but I couldn't stand him too. One day he took me to his place and acted really bad, once he lost the bus ticket and when people came for checking he shouted at me on the road and the other time when he came to my place he repeated the same. He was shouting for nothing at me all the time and I was the medium to vent out his emotions. And the same happened that day too and then I couldn't control my temper and burst out really bad.  

I came back home, cried cried and cried. That was the first time in my life I cried. That was the first time in my life I knew that even I had emotions. He brought the soft/ girlish side of me out. And from that day on there was no stop to it. I was no more a strong, independent, fear for nothing girl. I was no more a hi5 girl who never knew that bad people and bad words never existed in real world. 

And that was when my school mate came home. She saw me crying, got really angry on him and took his mobile number from me to shout at him. A week later my friends took me to T nagar for shopping because the 2nd thing (next to beach) in this whole world which made me cheer was shopping. And there in T nagar, I saw HIM with my schoolmate (who took his number from me) hugging and kissing each other and crossing the road. That was it... 

That was the day I understood what he meant by 'Typical Chennai Girl' - how that phrse has been used in today's world by guys. The day I understood guys and yes about girls too; The day I understood how this world is. I learnt a lot from him- To show emotions, to understand cheat, to talk bad, to be strong, to talk very convincingly and to love. And I learnt never to trust a girl again in my life from her.

I was hurt - a lot by her more than him. Yes he taught me what true love is by not loving. I understood if anyone does anything what he did then it is not love. To put it in other way, if anyone does not do anything HE did then that IS love. HIS mom called me and begged me to take care of myself and move away from her son and save myself. 

 There were times when I used to call him 200 times a day (literally) and I learnt in love you don’t have to do so because love will make/ want the other person to talk to you. I used to check his mobile and wallet to know what he was up-to (because I HAD to). And I learnt Love is to trust and that will happen automatically if it is true. Love is when lovers can freely tell honestly what they do, what they feel, offer their personal things by themselves even without us asking. 

Years flew by and still HE irritates me time to time. But the lessons he had taught stay intact in my heart. Love is not when the life is amazing in the start but it is when it stays so till the end. Love is not when we leave someone when we feel it is not possible but to make it possible even if it is impossible. Love is not when only one bends and other never does. It is when both bend to make the complete heart. Love is when we are honest, willing to give and stay, willing to accept the pain and world for that one person, miss each other every second and carve to be with each other forever.

Love is when we respect emotions and value it more than everything else. Love never brings happiness always, but everything done for love will bring moments which can be cherished more than life. 

I didn't hate love from then on. I wanted to feel the real one. I was ready to fall for it when it was ready to catch me and cradle me. I wanted to be cared, respected, loved and pampered. I wanted to go head over heels for someone and I wanted it to be my very own UNIQUE LOVE STORY. I was ready to wait for my special one. It may technically my 2nd love but IF it happens, it'll be the first/only love that would touch my soul. But for now to simple put Love is everything which HE did NOT do and so I'll never call it LOVE.