348 of 620 (Part 3)

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It was time for our next session. They had to stop their discussion and we all left for the class. We all sat on the same row and she was sitting beside me. The class was boring (that is how we always feel right? ) and I was busy filling up the pages in my diary so that I wouldn't fell asleep in the class. And then she poked me with a pen. I looked at her and asked what? she showed me the desk. She had written 'Hi :)' on the desk. I started to have a conversation with her with desk as the communication medium. 

Me :Hi

Hater : Hw r u ?

Me: Am fine J

Hater :  Did I do any mistake? It is so hard for me

Me : you have never done any mistake. Make your mind free. Don’t get afraid

Hater : am okay .. nothing

We both remained silent for some time and then again the conversation started

Hater : its paining.

I knew she had issues in her relationship. I knew she was in extreme pain. I wanted to console her but I didn't know how to. I didn't know whether I should be happy because she is alone now or sad because she was made alone by one idiot, her idiot.

Me : nothing lasts forever . either its happiness or pain … hard to digest but move on .. you can..

Hater : never leave me at any time

I knew in what sense she meant. I knew that if I left her alone then she would start crying and she wanted me to be near her so that she can just laugh and act in front of everyone. But to me it sounded different. It did mean a lot to me and I hoped she said it in the same sense as I thought. (I wish)

Me : it will never happen

There was no response from her for sometime. So i wrote 

Me : Don’t worry da .. I will keep you happy

Hater : I know L

Then we tried to concentrate on the class. I did try but my mind kept wandering. That very second I noticed bestie who was sitting next to her started questioning her about what we were writing on the desk and playing. She gave her trademark smile and just turned to look at the faculty. Half an hour passed. Then she got hold of a piece of paper, wrote something and gave it to me.

Hater  : shall I die

Those words nearly killed me. It was a great shock to see her in such a ripped apart condition.

Me : if you want to then take me too along.

Hater  : avaluku thukam varuthu

            Enaku aluga varuthu

She was addressing to the girl sitting next to her.

Me     : ada dae semma rhyming expecting a lot more from you

Hate   : atho paru palli

            Atha adikaporaen solli

            Atha naala ne konjam nillu thalli

Me    : unnai ninaithu parkayil kavithai kottuthu

            Athai elutha ninaikayil varthai muttuthu - try something like this J

Hater : oru nodi pothum nenjil idam pidikka

           Antha oru nodiyin neram varum

           Pala nodigalai kadantha pin

           Nirantharm endra sollai athu kootikondu

Me    : uyirodu mey kalakum nodikaga kaathu irukirayo

           Poginra thuram tholaivu illai

           Ini oru sathanai seivom

           Pala sarithira chuvadugal padaipom

           Kadanthathai kadanthu va

Hater : kaathu iruka villai

           Ninaithu aerigiren

Me    : kaalangal marum ithu kathai agi pogum

           Nam kanneer in thuligal vairam agum

Hater : panju mittai venum

That was totally unexpected from her. Typical of her. I started laughing seeing that.

Me    : okay da will go and get after the class J

She smiled. I was sure that she was feeling better. But she is a girl and a girl can hide her feelings and act normally to the whole world at any situation so I wasn't sure if her smile meant a dejection or happiness.

Me    : hey I heard your mind voice

Hater : whats that ? tell me

Me    : One thing you never accept but I realized it in your eyes a second before

Hater : okay tell me

Me    : nothing

Hater : tell

It was not possible for me to hide anything when she orders me so and thus I had to tell her what I thought that very second.

Me    : So sweet, Love you a lot idiot ( your mind voice)

Hater : with a bit of hesitation … just smiled

After some time she wrote her name on the paper and drew a long arrow mark from her name ans she wrote loose.

P.S. Hater- " I felt when the hell will this guy understand the reality and that very second I also felt that it would never happen I had fought, shouted explained and moved away but he kept coming back. And now when I'm in pain it didn't matter much what he thought as long as I had a soul to confide on. So i smiled, a smile of helplessness and pain "