Regret

Sprinting to office has become THE thing nowadays. THAT heavenly ‘5 minutes please’ sleep early in the morning which miraculously turns the hands of the clock to read 30 minutes in advance does make us Usain Bolts. Well how does that even happen? Those silly hands never… I repeat NEVER… moves a bit all night but does all magic when I sit down with an amazing book or try to do my favourite ‘5 minutes please’ in the morning. Do I regret it? O I don’t But should I? That is what I wish to know.

There are times when I have sprinted to office just to watch an old lady struggling with her bag, I so wanted to help her. But I didn’t, I kept looking at her. No it was not because I was late but it was because how would she take it if a random Asian Indian came to her and took her bag? Would she have a racist mind? Would she assume bad? By the time I made up my mind she was inside her car.

And the moment when I saw this woman wearing a beautiful silk saree was walking in front of me in the temple. The silk thread was hanging from her pallu and she didn’t notice as she was carrying her kid. Her entire family was there with her – they saw it but did nothing. Should I go help her? No I didn’t help her because I thought maybe she just liked it that way. Some women do – they prefer cutting the thread with a scissors rather with their hands as it would keep coming.

And what about the time I so wanted to offer my seat to the old man next to me in the bus? I didn’t because I was in the ladies seat and the woman next to me was already going on and on about men are bad and they sit in ladies seats.

These incidents make me think about those times when I was in school – when I used to carry the bags of random people from bus stand till their home, those times when I took random people back home for my mom to patch them up when they had fallen down or looked sick, those times when I stood keeping the lift open for others and missed my school van/college bus.

What has changed? Why do we think about ‘What ifs’ in life? We are taught to help – to serve elders – to be polite. But do those basic courtesies just fly away when we become more ‘matured’? Or has the world changed us to become so? Is that the reason why we don’t teach our kids to ‘go help others’ anymore but say ‘Don’t eat it if anyone gives you sweet’/ ‘Don’t talk to strangers’/ ‘Don’t go near strangers’… Are we giving a good world to our next generations?

We are taught NOT to regret about our actions. We need to learn from our mistakes – YES and we need to move on. It is impossible to live without failing at something but if we do then we haven’t lived at all (Well that is JK Rowling’s words). And when we can’t touch yesterday why should we let it touch us? It works for big things in life. But these little things – little moments…

Are we doing it right? Am I a good citizen? Am I a good human? Will I be a good parent? These questions because of these little moments - this regret – just stay with me.